Let’s set up some rules for yourself and for them—yes people can make mistakes, but cheating is no misdemeanor and only once can be detrimental. But if you really love them you can try directly communicating with them to see if it’s something that they are willing to fix and find a solution together. If this happens twice then that is the end.

Reflect with yourself whether you can deal with disloyalty and avoid gaslighting yourself. Almost 100% of the time the answer will be that you can’t tolerate this behavior. So, it would be more wise to accept it as your vulnerability. If your partner cheats on you more than once, it is not accidental. Let’s be realistic, if they were intentional about only loving you, their actions will reflect it, and situations like these will not arise. 

Do not be faded by the excuses they make but stand in solidarity with yourself. Cheaters like to keep their options available, and they won’t easily let you walk away even though they are caught red handed. They could summon an entire love language to cover up their wrongs and convince you to forgive them and that is precisely where you steadfastly cut the ties. It should not happen more than once (or even), and you should protect yourself from these recurring pains, walk away, and move on to loving yourself better. Every passing second of our life is priceless and we should not waste it in a toxic exchange. You can do that by starting to prioritize your logic over your emotions and irrational fears. Stop justifying their wrongdoings and accept it for what it is—unfaithfulness, a.k.a. the severest misconduct within a relationship. Learn to walk away and find someone new who can cherish you with unwavering loyalty; which may not always be easy but once you find them there’s a lot of beauty in it. 

Personally, I am quite self-centered and would persist until I get the things I want. Sometimes I don’t really listen to people, sometimes I act childlike, and I love shopping; but I also love spoiling my partner with the stuff that he likes. During last November, I was occupied with an extra job and would mostly be back home late. Every time I was home there were always arguments, which kind of took me by surprise. Although I wasn’t that present, I had been phoning him to make up for it, and I certainly didn’t do anything wrong. However, he acted strange. He would often talk badly to me and forget he did it. 

Up until December 6th-8th, I felt really uncomfortable when he became more silent than usual. On the 9th, I decided to confront if he wanted to break up with me. The answer I got from him was he had been talking to another woman in his workplace for a few months. They started dating and the woman knew he already had me, but she still went with it. The whole situation made me numb and I didn’t know what to do. At which point, many things started to come up in my head; every talk we used to have about our future together became pointless, and the life we built together up to this point was meaningless to him. I just couldn’t grasp how conveniently people can just throw someone aside like this.

I cried the entire night, and my thoughts were in a vicious loop. At the end, I finally got the chance to converse with the woman. I learned that my ex partner overly focused on himself; he didn’t care about anyone else, and the woman was an equally selfish and immoral person. I finally decided to let him get on with her because they were a perfect match on that basis; and I am thankful I discovered the truths. I am grateful for this particular experience.